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‘The Witcher’ Series Review – Hottest Geralt of Rivia Scenes

Hello, my identify’s Taylor, and I’ve a fetish for white-haired monster hunters with depraved, magical powers. Nicely, truly, I take that again. I don’t get turned on by all deranged scary mutants… simply those who look precisely like Henry Cavill in The Witcher.

The Witcher is a brand new Netflix collection that follows Henry’s character, Geralt of Rivia, as he meets a sorceress, a princess, and much and many scary-looking creatures all through his journey to seek out “his future” and defend mentioned princess from everybody who needs to hurt her. (Which is everybody, mainly.)

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Thoughts you, I’m not a kind of women who’s tremendous into fantasy issues. The farthest my curiosity has gone is watching Twilight and, no, I didn’t watch Recreation of Thrones. So after I sat down to observe The Witcher with my dad and older sister, I wasn’t anticipating to be so… uh, in love with Henry’s jawline (amongst different issues).

The increasingly more we watched, the extra I observed the warmth between my legs brewing. (Sorry, Dad!) I additionally couldn’t perceive why everybody appeared to suppose the white-haired Witcher was so evil within the present? Like, if he’s “so unhealthy,” I, for one, don’t wish to be proper. (What can I say? I’ve at all times had a factor for broken unhealthy boys.)

Now that I’ve completed each seasons of the collection, I discover it solely becoming to replicate on what I simply watched by operating down all of the instances Henry made me really feel some kind of manner—even when he wasn’t doing something inadvertently horny. Behold, the seven moments that actually nobody else would discover enticing moreover me and my bizarre self.

(Oh, and no detailed spoilers in right here, so if you happen to haven’t seen the present, completely okay to proceed to learn….)

Season 1

1. His first phrases of all the season.

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Netflix

      About two minutes into the primary episode, Henry (who I’ll now be referring to as Geralt shifting ahead) says: “At the moment isn’t your day, is it?” to a smol doe who was attacked by a bizarre swamp monster. Then, he proceeds to eat mentioned doe… so, like I mentioned, not horny in any respect.

      BUT! His! Voice! It’s the primary time we hear it, and it units the precedent for the remainder of the collection. I used to be all like, Oh, whoa, okay, we have now a super-sexy, low, deep, rumbly voice setting the tone for this season, let’s fucking gooo. And if you happen to’re tremendous into voices like I’m, let me advocate listening to those episodes by your headphones…in mattress…alone….

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      2. Each time he grunts.

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      Netflix

          Okay, so I’m a kind of individuals who loves to observe films with subtitles (sue me), but it surely was particularly erotic as a result of not solely may I hear Geralt grunt in his baritone pitch, however I may additionally see on the display that he mentioned: “Hmm.” It was tremendous sizzling in a manner that I’m not likely positive why….

          FWIW, he does this, like, 1,000,000 instances in every episode when he’s both (a) considering, (b) about to beat the shit out of anyone, or (c) sad with a response. I can’t clarify it, you actually simply have to observe it to know.

          3. His face submit–battle scenes.

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          Netflix

              He’s greasy, has blood throughout his face, and has hair strands all up in his eyes, however for some inexplicable motive, he at all times seems deliciously tasty. To the typical individual, he seems like precise shit, however to me, he’s shit that’s sizzling…? I don’t know, possibly I’m simply actually into dudes who battle, which feels like one thing I ought to take up with my therapist.

              4. When he says “fuck” proper earlier than he realizes he has to beat some village individuals’s asses as a result of they’re taunting him.

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              Netflix

                  One thing concerning the accent and the tough cuss phrase popping out of his mouth makes me need him to say it increasingly more and extra… ideally within the sheets with me. It’s like: “No, he’s good, he doesn’t wish to battle you. You’re egging him on!” with a mixture of “Yeah, he can’t wait to kick your ass.” (Which he does… each time). Find it irresistible.

                  5. The truth that he’s low key a horse woman.

                  Horse, Halter, Movie, Bridle, Horse tack, Stallion, Human, Mustang horse, Black-and-white, Mane,

                  Netflix

                      Look, everyone knows horse women. Memes of their scrunchies and French-braided hair blew up into an web sensation. However actually, “horse woman” takes on an entire new that means whenever you see Geralt (together with his half-up, half-down hairdo) tending to his bb. I imply, there are a number of instances when Geralt is seen simply chillin’ and speaking to his horse, which is A-OK with me, honey. It simply means he’s ~delicate~, proper?

                      6. When he drinks that bizarre potion factor (which I nonetheless don’t perceive) and it makes his eyes flip black.

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                      Netflix

                          I don’t know what a demon seems like, but when I needed to guess, I’d suppose it resembles his face after he takes a sip of potion from that jar in his pocket. Completely unclear what’s in it, precisely, but it surely appears to make him flip right into a super-powered model of himself (and make him look scary AF). I can’t clarify it however there’s one thing tremendous sizzling about his demonic aspect that screams, “I’m going to do soiled issues to you in mattress.” (Y’know, like woman on the street however freak within the sheets.)

                          Anyway, most individuals would discover this face scary and repulsive, however I discover it a bit endearing. I’m all about seeing all sides of my accomplice, and he lets this one SHOW, y’all.

                          7. His capacity to really feel compassion, regardless of not with the ability to really feel something in any respect?

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                          Netflix

                              Apparently, everybody within the Witcher universe appears to imagine that witchers can’t really feel feelings the way in which people do (they speak about this usually all through the season). However with out revealing an excessive amount of, he appears to have a tender spot for kids, cursed creatures, and different monsters too. This could be the one level you agree with me on, however any time Geralt saves a toddler or defends, say, a dragon, my coronary heart (and vagina) does just a little pitter-patter.

                              Season 2

                              8. How he manages to look sizzling even when he’s unhappy/disgusted/offended.

                              geralt of rivia, the witcher

                              Netflix

                              Who else moreover Geralt of Rivia may nonetheless give me fanny flutters even after they’re in tears?! Actually nobody, and this second was no exception. Inside the first 5 minutes of the season, he’s crying over some devastating information however by some means manages to maintain it collectively and ship this harsh line wanting like that. How dare he?

                              9. Bossy Geralt ™

                              geralt of rivia, the witcher

                              Netflix

                              “After I say run, you run.” Say much less, Geralt. Or truly, say extra—this command was horny as hell and made me think about what he’d sound like telling me to do… different issues. Ask me for something G bb, I’m right here for it.

                              10. Relaxed Geralt ™

                              geralt of rivia, the witcher

                              Netflix

                              To say Geralt has no chill is an understatement contemplating he’s at all times preventing monsters and saving the day, so to see him chilling at what’s basically his “residence” is good! Lets me think about what he’d appear to be on the day-to-day, ya know? As we’re dwelling our lives and rising outdated collectively!

                              11. Any time he saves Ciri, which is usually.

                              geralt of rivia, the witcher

                              Netflix

                              Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? Sorry. Daddy? However in all seriousness, Geralt has Large Daddy Power in season 2 and it’s sooooo sizzling. Whether or not he’s rescuing Ciri from an enormous monster or a demonic witch possession, by some means he manages to get there simply in time to save lots of the day. Keep in mind when Ciri known as him the “father she by no means had”? Swoon.

                              12. When Triss comes onto him and he’s like, “No thnx.”

                              geralt of rivia, the witcher

                              Netflix

                              Okay, I’ll admit this half harm me as a result of watching anybody get rejected sucks, however the truth that he turned down intercourse with a hottie like Triss is proof he’s not a fuckboy. He simply may’ve been DTF contemplating all the things he’s been by has most likely made him wanna let off some steam, however they’re buddies and he cares about her! Nothing is sexier than a person who’s thoughtful.

                              13. This epic reunion.

                              geralt of rivia, the witcher

                              Netflix

                              For those who, like me, watch The Witcher for “the plot” (ahem), you then’re additionally actively sitting there twiddling your thumbs ready for ~intimacy~ between Geralt and… whoever, actually. However the emotional buildup that led us to this scene was all the things, particularly contemplating they’re severely in love with one another and one in every of them thought the opposite one was useless for like half the season. Look! At! His! Lovely! Statuesque! Face!

                              14. This one single phrase that’s often NBD however feels unnaturally sizzling coming from Geralt.

                              geralt of rivia, the witcher

                              Netflix

                              He wasn’t saying this about me, however I’m simply gonna faux he was, ok?

                              So if I haven’t offered you on watching the present only for the explanations above, know that it has a severely good plotline too. And coming from somebody who wasn’t precisely psyched about beginning a present like this, I can’t await extra fantastical “hmms” and “fucks” in season 3. Swoon!

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