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21 Ways to Master the Woman-on-Top Sex Position

Getting on prime throughout intercourse will be actually intimidating, particularly when missionary is your default and also you’ve gotten snug with it. Sooo, why repair what isn’t damaged? Properly, what if we advised you that woman-on-top will be the final word technique to take management of your pleasure, make intercourse (particularly penetrative intercourse) really feel the best way you all the time thought it ought to, and provide you with orgasms left and proper? Satisfied but?

“Girl-on-top is definitely the second hottest sexual place after missionary. It is because the lady controls the depth of penetration, the depth and angle of thrust, and her personal stimulation,” explains intimacy coach and strategist Duchess Iphie.

This in style intercourse place permits the lady or receiving accomplice to take management—setting the tone and motions for the way ~horny time~ will play out and really feel. It’s additionally a very yummy place to assist convey you to orgasm, as most individuals with vulvas discover it arduous to orgasm via penetration alone. Being on prime permits for each extra management and the flexibility to simply incorporate intercourse toys for added stimulation. “You should use a vibrator whereas your accomplice is stimulating you differently,” says licensed Latinx sexual well being professional and founding father of Howl on the Womb, Cindy Luquin.

Not solely can the girl-on-top place present extra pleasure, nevertheless it can be extraordinarily empowering! “It permits him to see her in all her glory as a girl, which will be each empowering and erotic, as you see his need for you,” says Iphie. (This goes for companions of all genders—letting your lover see you in management will be extremely scorching.)

And if you happen to are likely to really feel shy within the bed room however need to work in your confidence, this transfer is nice apply for that. “It could possibly be a very nice place for practising how one can take management throughout intercourse, if somebody desires to be extra dominant in mattress, clearly with the consent and willingness of their accomplice,” says Luquin.

Pay attention, being on prime will be tremendous weak. Like, being all bare up there can convey up silly fears about the way you look or whether or not you’re secretly unhealthy in mattress. Is there a proper technique to transfer, and is that what you’re doing?! The strain!

However right here’s the factor: There are tons of useful suggestions and methods to mastering woman-on-top intercourse. From spelling sure phrases together with your hips, grabbing onto a floor to stabilize your self, and including toys into the combination, there are a number of actionable methods to enhance your on-top expertise. And if it’s actually not for you, that’s completely legitimate. We’ve even acquired recommendations on how one can inform your accomplice in a method that gained’t make you are feeling nervous or placed on the spot.

Beneath, sexperts and educators share their prime suggestions for mastering this place with out breaking a sweat, based mostly on questions they get all the time.

1.”Does woman-on-top intercourse must contain penetration?”

Not. at. all. There are such a lot of methods you may get on prime and get off that don’t contain penetration. Grinding, fingering, and clitoral stimulation are only a few non- P-in-V choices. And grinding doesn’t solely must contain P-on-V or V-on-V—you may also obtain oral intercourse whereas on prime by hovering (“sitting”) above your accomplice’s mouth whereas they carry out, or transferring forwards and backwards.

With regards to having enjoyable within the bed room, communication is vital. You possibly can inform your accomplice, “I believe it’d be actually scorching if you happen to put your finger right here, or if you happen to contact me there,” says Luquin. If you wish to enhance pleasure, lube might help by making penetration simpler. You possibly can even incorporate arousal gels to extend sensation much more.

Nevertheless you’re selecting to get on prime, simply bear in mind to breathe and be within the second. “It’s vital to remain in your physique,” says Luquin. “Take into consideration what feels proper, and decelerate if you have to. It’s not a race. Lots of people flip to porn relating to intercourse, however you don’t must carry out such as you’re in a porn movie.”

2. “How do I forestall my knees from hurting whereas on prime?”

We get it—getting on prime will be tiring! It may well put loads of strain on the again and knees, making it really feel the alternative of horny. Women, we’re working arduous up there! Fortunately, there are many equipment in the marketplace that may assist assist you, like intercourse pillows and wedges. Luquin suggests putting some agency pillows beneath your knees for assist and to floor your self.

Additionally, don’t be afraid to ask your accomplice for assist. “In the event that they’re in a position to, ask your accomplice to carry you in place, and assist them assist you determine how one can shift your physique to a extra snug place,” says Luquin. “Incorporating them simply makes it extra enjoyable, it helps construct communication, and helps you each determine how your our bodies can higher match collectively, as a substitute of you being the one who’s doing all the work.”

3. “How do I get on prime if my accomplice and I are on the bigger aspect?”

Opposite to what’s generally portrayed in porn, all our bodies can have gratifying woman-on-top intercourse—you simply must discover a place that’s snug and pleasurable for each you and your accomplice.

“Many suppose this place isn’t for individuals who are bigger in dimension as a result of stomachs and different physique elements can get in the best way, making it harder to bounce up and down. A greater method could be to rock your hips from side to side as soon as he’s inside you,” explains Iphie. “This ensures that he stays in, and there may be much less probability of him slipping out of you at a pivotal second, equivalent to whereas reaching orgasm. This motion additionally provides much less strain to the knees as you don’t must bounce very excessive.” This additionally applies to non-penis-having companions utilizing strap-ons to penetrate.

          4. “I’ve a tough time orgasming on this place. Are there any toys that may assist?”

          Most of us can’t orgasm with penetration alone, so go forward and throw some stimulating toys into the combination: “I love toys and all the time use them throughout intercourse! If I’m in cowgirl, I wish to go for a bullet vibe or a small wand as a result of it’s simpler for me to succeed in my clit and never overwhelm myself with sensations,” says Cheyenne Davis, author and founding father of Unveild, a intercourse and kink constructive publication for Black and Brown folx. Wearable vibes, {couples}’ toys and vibrating cock rings may make an enormous distinction.

          5. “I am feeling actually self-conscious proper now and I hate being on prime. Any recommendation?”

          “I usually despise being on prime!” says Davis. “As a fats femme who usually has companions who’re smaller than I’m, I didn’t all the time really feel supported after I acquired on prime. I usually did many of the work, and it turned me off in a short time. Nevertheless, after attempting it with a extra caring and pleasure-centric accomplice, I discovered one of the best ways to go about it’s to do it the place we’re each sitting, and I can rock my hips quite than bounce with unsteady knees.” Mainly, go forward and transfer round (and talk together with your accomplice!) till you discover what feels proper to you.

          Additionally price remembering: “In the event you do really feel uncomfortable being on prime, you possibly can all the time talk that and check out different positions. I’m a agency believer of fixed and clear communication and consent throughout intercourse, and it’s completely okay if a place simply isn’t working,” says Davis. “I believe we don’t humanize intercourse sufficient and suppose it’s all the time so pristine and ideal, when the truth is it’s deliciously messy, humorous, awkward and delightful.”

          6. “What are the best issues to remember to grasp woman-on-top?”

          Get out of your head and check out to not overthink the method, suggests sexologist Malika O’Neill, LPC, and founder and CEO of The Pleasure Collective, LLC. Overthinking issues may result in psyching your self out, and O’Neill says that is usually the place individuals will discover themselves both going off rhythm, or being so anxious they aren’t capable of finding pleasure within the expertise.

          “Keep in mind you’re in management and permit that to make you are feeling highly effective. Let your hips information you and do many of the work,” suggests O’Neill, including that if you happen to attempt to work out your whole physique whereas on prime, it’ll tire you out quicker and also you’ll doubtless lose stamina.

          7. “Is there any specific rhythm you need to attempt to transfer to throughout woman-on-top? I’ve heard (or learn) that you need to attempt to spell ‘coconut’ together with your hips whereas on prime. Why does this trick work? Are there another simple methods or phrases you possibly can spell whereas on prime to make it look like you realize what you are doing?”

          The “coconut” trick is nice, as a result of it’s all rounded letters which can be simple to “spell” together with your hips. O’Neill additionally suggests attempting to spell the phrase “cowgirl.” Go at a medium tempo that permits you and your accomplice to really feel every rhythm or letter—this not solely lets you decelerate sufficient to make issues pleasurable, however you’re additionally in a position to gauge your accomplice’s response and physique language to see which letters they take pleasure in greater than others.

          One other simple trick O’Neill suggests for Driving 101 is to attempt to create the letters “W” or “M” together with your hips as effectively. You can too have you ever or your accomplice attempt to create the letter “O” in sluggish movement, she suggests.

          Get inventive with it! In the event you or your accomplice discover you could have a penchant for rounded letters or letters with plenty of peaks and dips like “W” or “M,” incorporate these into your hip rhythm. You don’t even must ~spell~ something. Nobody will inform if you happen to’re simply hip-typing out “WWWWWWWWWWWWWW” 1,000,000 occasions over if that’s what floats your boat!

          8. “How do I inform my accomplice if I do not take pleasure in being on prime?”

          “We are usually our most weak selves whereas in sexual conditions with our companions, so being strategic right here could possibly be vital,” says O’Neill. She suggests both directing your accomplice to a unique place that focuses on what you need quite than what you don’t like. Positives over negatives, all the time! You possibly can say one thing like, “I like while you take me from behind,” as a substitute of, “I don’t like being up right here.”

          O’Neill additionally tells her purchasers to attempt to talk utilizing “the praise sandwich,” aka, sandwiching a remark about one thing you don’t like between two compliments. This may appear like, “I like while you take me from behind. I don’t love being on prime, however that’s since you’re simply so good at being in management, it makes intercourse really feel so good for me.” Then, brainstorm methods you can also make your accomplice really feel good with out getting ready you don’t like. Compromise!

          9. “There is a stigma that ladies who do not take pleasure in being on prime are ‘lazy.’ Ought to I really feel responsible if I do not like being on prime? What are some very legitimate causes you won’t like being on prime?”

          First issues first: By no means really feel responsible or unhealthy about your self for not desirous to be on prime (or anything throughout a sexual state of affairs usually), says O’Neill. It’s your physique, and the entire level of intercourse is to supply a pleasurable expertise for you and your accomplice. If each individuals aren’t having fun with it, what’s the purpose? As for some very legitimate causes you won’t be into being on prime, O’Neill says you may simply choose when your accomplice is in management, otherwise you may expertise sexual ache when on prime for quite a lot of causes. You may additionally simply not really feel snug together with your accomplice attending to see that a lot of you, which… legitimate! Extra on that later.

          Mainly, simply don’t be afraid to voice your preferences and by no means really feel obligated to get on prime if you happen to hate it simply since you don’t need to appear “lazy”—that’s simply not true.

          10. “No, however significantly: How do I recover from any insecurity about my appears whereas on prime?”

          Fortunately, this one is all psychological. “We are likely to have an concept from porn that we must be sitting straight up for his visible pleasure, and that we have to have an ideal physique to take action,” says Elena Lynn Wolfbrandt, a sexuality coach who makes a speciality of feminine sexuality. In actuality, if you happen to’re having intercourse with a person, “it’s 99% assured that he’s having a tremendous time, it doesn’t matter what you’re doing,” says Wolfbrandt.

          “It’s 99% assured that he’s having a tremendous time, it doesn’t matter what you’re doing”

          Faucet into your internal diva and make the second all about you and your pleasure. You understand how dudes gained’t understand you narrow 10 inches off your hair for weeks till you actually convey up the truth that you probably did so? There’s your proof that he gained’t be criticizing your physique or something to the diploma you’re nervous about.

          In the event you wanna take a psychological break and step away from the showgirl highlight for a second, you may also strive getting on prime whereas belly-to-belly, and even shut your legs and squeeze to get extra clitoral pleasure, provides Wolfbrandt.

          11. “How do I get into the place?”

          Questioning how one can segue gracefully over your accomplice’s physique? “Start by kneeling over your accomplice and gently decrease your self down,” explains Antonia Corridor, intercourse and relationship professional and writer of The Final Information to a Multi-Orgasmic Life. “From there, it’s simple to bounce up and down or rock your hips, adjusting your angle to stimulate your clitoris,” she provides. You can too strive squatting together with your toes flat. You’ll want extra steadiness, nevertheless it opens your hips for deeper penetration.

          12. “What do I maintain onto throughout woman-on-top?”

          Questioning how one can segue gracefully over your accomplice’s physique? “Start by kneeling over your accomplice and gently decrease your self down,” explains Antonia Corridor, intercourse and relationship professional and writer of The Final Information to a Multi-Orgasmic Life. “From there, it’s simple to bounce up and down or rock your hips, adjusting your angle to stimulate your clitoris,” she provides. You can too strive squatting together with your toes flat. You’ll want extra steadiness, nevertheless it opens your hips up for deeper penetration.

          13. “Why do individuals all the time say being on prime is best for girls, anyway?”

          “You might have extra management over the velocity, angle, and depth, so it makes it simpler to maintain it at a rhythm that’s actually doing it for you. Your vulva and clitoris are additionally very accessible, and the overwhelming majority of girls discover intercourse way more pleasurable if they’re additionally stroking or being stroked on this space,” Layla Martin, sexpert and writer of Wild Girl within the Bed room, explains. After which there’s additionally the psychological aspect of management: Taking the reins and doing issues precisely 👏 how 👏you 👏need 👏 can really feel past scorching.

          Being on prime additionally offers you a chance to apply new methods each you and your accomplice can take pleasure in. “As a result of she controls the depth and tempo of the thrust, she will be able to apply ‘edging,’ which is the place she will get to the purpose of just about having an orgasm and stops the thrusts in order that the sensation fades away,” provides Iphie. “Edging will be enjoyable for each companions, as they will each expertise it throughout intercourse.”

          14. “Okay, however what are you able to strive if you happen to’re having bother getting the proper angle while you’re on prime?”

          Sure, in concept it is sensible that being on prime lets your clit get extra stimulation, but when that angle simply isn’t taking place for you, you’ve acquired choices. To search out that candy spot, Martin suggests transferring your physique ahead and again very slowly, and left to proper, to see if you happen to can discover any slight variations in sensation. Mainly, troubleshoot!

          This content material is imported from embed-name. You could possibly discover the identical content material in one other format, otherwise you could possibly discover extra info, at their web page.

          Too deep? No downside. “In the event you’re uncomfortable as a result of the penetration feels too deep, you possibly can strive mendacity ahead and propping your self up in your palms or forearms virtually such as you’re in a missionary place,” Martin affords. And don’t get discouraged if you happen to don’t get there instantly. “The hot button is to not get caught up pondering it’s not working and you have to repair it, however to focus as a substitute on sensually discovering the spot that holds the best pleasure for you.”

          15. “How do you determine how one can transfer your physique?”

          When you’ve discovered the proper angle, you possibly can nonetheless get slowed down on how one can transfer, particularly if you happen to suppose you must be a dancer or somebody with impeccable pure rhythm in an effort to nail it. However all you want is apply! Corridor suggests beginning by making small, sluggish changes to your hips or physique till you hit that candy spot.

          “You should use your leg muscle mass and core to maneuver up and down, then fastidiously lean ahead or again to convey issues into alignment,” Corridor says. “Your palms can go on the mattress for assist and steadiness as you progress into positions that really feel nice for you, and what feels good typically adjustments, so you need to really feel snug adjusting as desired.”

          16. “What can I strive if I simply get actually drained actually shortly after I’m on prime?”

          It’s no shock that being on prime exerts a liiiiiiittle extra vitality than simply mendacity there and noticing all of the cracks in your ceiling. Martin says you possibly can all the time sluggish method down, however provides, “The largest factor is to recollect to breathe. In the event you’ve ever achieved intensive exercises, you possibly can go a lot farther and longer if you happen to breathe deeply. It will appear completely pure since individuals are likely to breathe way more intensively throughout intercourse.” Deep inhales and exhales might help you concentrate on sensation and never turn into exhausted so shortly.

          This content material is imported from embed-name. You could possibly discover the identical content material in one other format, otherwise you could possibly discover extra info, at their web page.

          You can too let your accomplice take over for a bit. “Intercourse is a dance,” Halls says. And your accomplice might be going to maneuver their hips a bit of too, as a result of it feels superb. She additionally recommends leaning ahead so that you’re mendacity on prime of your accomplice in a sort-of missionary pose to ease the pressure (and sign to them that they will contribute to the thrusting as effectively).

          17. “Are there any exercises you are able to do to make on-top intercourse higher for you?”

          “Nice sexual stamina comes from energy in your giant muscle teams and cardio routine,” Corridor says. “Working in your legs and core will actually assist in the bed room. I additionally all the time advise doing Kegels, which might help strengthen your pelvic muscle mass, which suggests larger, higher orgasms.”

          18. “Are there any variations of the normal ‘on prime of my accomplice, going through them’ place? And WTF are they?”

          You’ve acquired different selections! For one, you possibly can swing your method into reverse cowgirl, which Martin suggests will be “massively liberating.” That is principally staying on prime of the penis or strap-on, however leaning in your forearms, or sitting up, going through your accomplice’s toes as a substitute of their face.

          “Girl-on-top doesn’t all the time must be the person on his again and the lady sitting, kneeling or squatting on prime. She may lie on prime of him, sit on prime along with her legs straight out going through him whereas he’s sitting up, sit on his lap whereas he’s sitting on a chair, or he could possibly be on his again along with his knees to his chest and she or he sits on his penis––all of those are tweaks to the woman-on-top place,” says Iphie.

          However there’s extra! “There’s a complicated place the place you’re going through ahead and also you lean to 1 aspect, and place that hand right down to assist your self and provides your pelvis a light-weight raise. The additional assist and slight raise of your pelvis means you possibly can undulate up and down with extra vary in your pelvis, and this may be tremendous erotic,” Martin explains.

          19. “What are some good toys so as to add to woman-on-top intercourse?”

          Many ladies can’t orgasm from P-in-V intercourse alone, so it may be good to throw in an adjunct. Corridor says this can be a nice place for incorporating vibrators, and recommends a handheld clitoral stimulator just like the Clandestine Mimic, a {couples} vibrator just like the We-Vibe Sync, or a vibrating cock ring just like the LELO TOR 2.

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          20. “Is there any method you would harm yourselves with on-top intercourse?”

          Girl-on-top intercourse is really the commonest place for penile fracturing, nevertheless it’s nonetheless not insanely widespread or simple to do. The principle factor to do, based on Corridor, is ease into issues slowly each time, as a result of you possibly can injure your accomplice if you happen to lean in a method that bends their penis uncomfortably, or bounce up and down so shortly that you simply fall on a foul angle and harm and even break their penis. So, once more: Take it sloooooow.

          21. “What if I can not loosen up?”

          There are tons of different advantages to getting on prime that you simply won’t have realized. “Intercourse may be very psychological, and for girls to expertise their deepest orgasms, there are elements of their mind that have to go silent that must do with judgement and management,” says Martin. If you’re in your again, you may really be extra caught up in your head, however while you’re on prime, you’re pressured to pay attention extra on the bodily act, which might help you actually let go.

          So, let go! Let your self get caught up within the second and attempt to image your self because the intercourse goddess you’re whilst you rock your accomplice’s world, as a result of belief us—that’s precisely how they’re seeing you, too, and also you should take pleasure in that.

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